Koki & Kay

After I moved I realized I can't live without your caresses. I want to hug you so much right now, to feel your body next to mine and kiss you, I have you under my skin. I will not manage to live without you. This change doesn't seem to be an address change only, it separated us. Your daily caresses enfold me, your advices make me stronger and smarter, your perfume brings me joy, your eyes.... I don't want to be bound to my memory of you, like when I see glimpses of you in other people, that would be too much pain for me to take, even thinking about it is intolerable. I'm feeling desolate and homeless, like someone drawing away from the little that is left after losing almost everything... I need you so much. I shouldn't have moved with my family, I know that there wasn't an other way but I can't stop trying to figure out ways to get around it.... I couldn't imagine the loss would be so immense as it feels now. Without you around me my life seems to be turning into something so meaningless and empty that I think it is impossible for me to live here: Either I return or you come, that's pretty much the only way it seems. Life is charmless when I cannot feel the warmth of your presence. I'll never be the same apart from you, and I'm really afraid for our romance and I just can't be happy without your love. I love you from the bottom of my heart.

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